We’re looking out for you here at Drunk TV.

And we’re doing that because we’re blasted and we don’t want to trip over you. It’s also because today’s network TV is awful. I mean…what the hell happened to it these past few decades? Screeching, garish game shows and race-baiting “gotcha” reality programs, endlessly cloned crime dramas and desperately unfunny sitcoms? Ellen DeGeneris? My gawd…does anyone even watch this verkakte nonsense anymore?

And now that the world is ending due to a flu virus with the same mortality rate as botched appendectomies, they can’t possibly be putting on a new season of programming this September, can they? What will fill the void?

Fear not. We here at Drunk TV will guide you through our own virtual Fall TV season, where every vintage “Big Three” television series is a winner, and where you’ll be—shock of shocks—entertained, not lectured to, nor looked down upon (we’ll leave that to your respective spouses).

Yes, that’s right, folks! It’s Drunk TV‘s first annual “Let’s Take a Dump!” event, where we’re squatting and pinching off a “new” (heehee) TV review almost every day, all in an effort to smear you with old timey network television goodness. So bookmark this page and don’t forget to take a dump with us every day, beginning Sept. 1, here at Drunk TV!

Oh, just one more thing: Have you enjoyed the content we’ve produced for the past half-decade? If so, consider supporting us by becoming a Patron at our Patreon page. Can you afford $1 a month? Well then, click over and check it out! The more support we get, the more content we can churn out for you, the Drunk TV faithful! Click here to support us.