Funny the things a grown man will do for a living.
Continue reading ‘Magnum, P.I.’ (Season 1): Beaches, beauties, & the private eye of the ’80sCategory Archives: Reviews
‘Dead by Sunset’ (1995): Juicy melodrama is exactly what true-crime lovers want
I don’t even know what’s up anymore with Lifetime or Lifetime Movie Network; I haven’t watched since we ditched cable years and years ago (I think they just make Christmas movies now where everyone’s best friend is some screaming Billy Eichner queen). But back in the day, those channels, particularly LMN, were a treasure trove of lurid, pulpy, old-school true-crime mellers, and Dead by Sunset―featuring one of the genre’s “Psycho Hall of Fame” performances from Ken Olin―was one of the best.
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Classic Educational Shorts (Volume 5: Rules for School): Pencils down, class, we’re watching a film.
I lived this stuff…and I believed all of it.
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‘The Steve Coogan Collection’: The best from comedian that brought us Alan Partridge!
Was this past Christmas season a bust for you? I suppose after the blizzard, if you had electricity you were way ahead of a lot of people, and being able to afford a can of knock-off Spam in today’s economy put you that much higher up (our Christmas feast consisted of a Quicken loan denial letter and some bouillon cubes). At least we could sit down for some serious holiday TV and movie viewing.
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‘Happy Holidays with Bing and Frank’ (1957): A drunken Christmas from The Frank Sinatra Show, pally!
Merry Christmas, everyone! We had such a nice reaction to our review of the Perry Como Christmas Special co-starring The Carpenters (in short: when I showed it to a bum on the bus, he threw up on my shoes and then tried to shank me), we decided here at the Drunk TV HQ to trim the tree, so to speak, with another holiday TV special review. This time, we’re going to dig out the classic December 20th, 1957 Christmas episode of ABC’s disastrous The Frank Sinatra Show, featuring special guest star, the old Groaner himself, Der Bingle! Entitled Happy Holidays with Bing and Frank, The Chairman of the Board and Bingo from Bingville trade quips and carols while getting thoroughly soused. It’s a Christmas must for fans of vintage Yuletide television specials.
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‘Perry Como’s Christmas Show’ (1974): The Carpenters join Como for a look back on a world long gone
Despite my wife’s adamant aversion to Karen and Richard, for me it just doesn’t seem like Christmas without the mellifluous strains of The Carpenters warbling out some beloved carol (Donna’s a Quaker, but “smash them in their stupid smiling faces” seems to be her default comment whenever they come on the radio). So why not ditch the stress and strain of today’s world and cool out with not one but two mellow masters of easy listening: The Carpenters and Perry Como?
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‘The U.F.O. Incident’ (1975): Fact, fiction, or Hollywood entertainment?
Can’t some bug-eyed outer space piece of sh*t abduct me the hell out of what passes for America today? Oh, well…one can dream.
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‘Frankenstein: The True Story’ (1973): Miniseries brings Mary Shelley’s classic monster to life
It’s Shock-tober, everyone! That’s right—time to take out a second mortgage to pay for your groceries this week. So, let’s lighten our loads by doing what I’ve been since I was in a playpen: escaping reality by obsessively watching TV. And what better way to block out the possibility of six more years of the Didy-in-Chief, than to watch one terrifying horror movie after another until one’s senses are completely numb.
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‘The Roller Derby Chronicles’: 2 documentaries & tons of vintage game footage!
You know what sports I played as a kid? My TV, that’s what. And my favorite of all time was catching Big Time Wrestling coming out WXYZ, Detroit’s Channel 7. When Bobo Brazil, after breaking free of The Sheik’s camel-clutch hold, would give his skull-crushing “Coco Butt” to lay the Sheik out, well…why the hell would I want to go outside and toss around a ball and maybe miss that?
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‘The California Kid’ (1974): A spare, surprisingly grim little suspenser
A clean, trim, hard-boiled little gem of a suspenser, from the golden days of network made-for-TV movies.
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‘Satan’s Triangle’ (1975): Decades later, occult thriller is still a winner
You know what would be the perfect vacation for this particular Fourth of July, Independence Day? In today’s America, I mean? Cruise to the Devil’s Triangle. But you say you just can’t let Beelzebub see your bikini bod this year? Well…you could check out Satan’s Triangle, the 1975 made-for-TV occult classic starring Kim Novak and Doug McClure, that originally appeared on the beloved anthology series, ABC Tuesday Movie of the Week (there’s a nice print streaming on Prime right now).
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‘Gilligan’s Planet’: Early ’80s Filmation offering continues the fun
So the Oscars were last weekend, apparently, which I haven’t watched since forever (how can you take an organization seriously that doesn’t award Best Pic to Rex Harrison’s Doctor Dolittle?). Just my luck I miss the organization’s first live televised felony battery. Any hoo, since I wasn’t tied down to watching 3+ hours of a bunch of millionaire hypocrites telling me how much they wish I’d die off, I rooted around for something equally cartoonish.
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‘Gunsmoke’ (Season 1): The iconic 20-year Western begins
Better late than never. I know, I know: I promised over two years ago to begin reviewing the massive 65th anniversary boxed set (beautifully put together for CBS video by pro Andrew J. Klyde) of Gunsmoke, the iconic, legendary 20-year Western series starring James Arness, Amanda Blake, Milburn Stone, and Dennis Weaver. Well…things happen (don’t get me started with the government, okay?), so let’s just all move on and get started on looking at one of the greatest TV series of any decade.
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‘Breaking Up is Hard to Do’ (1979): Forgotten TV movie is a true gem
Worthwhile, even remarkable-at-times, made-for-TV drama; perfect viewing for post-football withdrawal…if you’re a real man.
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‘Ripcord’ (Season 1): Stuck on a mountaintop? These men can help
Hey…where do we pull the chute on this entire new world, man?
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‘Christmas on the Coast’ (2018): Love, romance and going home
They say you can never go back home. But sometimes, it’s just what the doctor ordered to find yourself again.
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‘I Dream of Jeannie’ (Season 1): Classic sitcom will always please its Master – the audience
When are they coming for I Dream of Jeannie? I mean…the word “master” is thrown out at least ten times an episode by that scantily-clad genie slave Jeannie. Hasn’t this by now aroused the ire of some pajama-clad soy latte-drinking non-binary “pop culture author” who needs their “they/them” tantrum to be noticed today on Twitter? Isn’t a reckoning coming for this racist/sexist sitcom, and for all those who participated in it and who watch it today? Can’t someone please cancel 90-year-old Barbara Eden before it’s goddamn too late?
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‘The Deadly Tower’ (1975): Questionable—but suspenseful—re-telling of real-life Texas killings
In a post-holiday mood for something light, I happened upon an older Warner Bros. Archive Collection disc of The Deadly Tower, NBC’s 1975 made-for-TV movie with Disney alumnus Kurt Russell starring as infamous University of Texas sniper, Charles Whitman.
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‘Christmas in the Smokies’ (2015): Saving the family farm has never been so romantic
It’s a story as old as the hills where it’s set, and that’s A-OK when you want some down home, feel-good holiday viewing.
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‘A Christmas Story’ (1972): Hanna-Barbera special is a sweet, nostalgic time capsule
Hey, listen, readers: if we have to change our name from DrunkTV to All Hanna-Barbera! All the Time!, we will, particularly with the insane number of hits we’ve been clocking lately off that brand.
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