Flying hatchets. Running with chainsaws.
These people will do anything for $50,000. But in this economy, who can blame them?
Continue reading ‘Christmas in the Rockies’ (2020): Romance, lumberjack games, & WWE chicks for the winTag Archives: drama
‘The Oklahoma City Dolls’ (1981): Skip the Super Bowl. Watch THIS instead!
Okay, now look: if you’re stupid enough to actually watch the Super Bowl this year believing that the fix isn’t in, now that the globalist Uni-Party has paid the curiously asexual PSYOP/singer to “hook up” (rrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiight) with the bone-headed “clot shot” shill, all in service of the eventual President Bumbles endorsement, well…I don’t know what I can tell you. You’re probably beyond reach.
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‘The Lindbergh Kidnapping Case’ (1976): Anthony Hopkins hams it up in shallow true crime performance
So, wait: Lindbergh willingly sacrificed his kid to Nobel Prize-winning biologist Alexis Carrel in some Abrahamic gesture to provide Carrel a body for eugenics experimentation that went wrong…and then covered it up? That promotion for a new whack-job book conspiracy theory came over my news feed the other day, and sucker though I am for any and all looney conspiracy theories, it immediately reminded me of NBC’s 1976 long, long telemovie, The Lindbergh Kidnapping Case, where the real crime wasn’t the kidnapping, but Anthony Hopkins deliciously awful Emmy-winning performance.
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‘Seventh Avenue’ (1977): Third ‘Best Sellers’ miniseries really moves!
Oy vey iz mir did I get myself into something.
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‘Once an Eagle’ (1976): NBC’s second ‘Best Sellers’ mini a sprawling epic across two world wars
Back when “the Big Three” were the only game in town, do you remember how exciting Septembers were, you vintage TV-crazed viewer? Sure you do. How exciting the prospect was for the upcoming slew of new TV shows, thoughtfully brought to you by your friendly networks, entirely free of charge? It was as if you had this whole new group of friends who were waiting to entertain you, and all you had to do was turn on the TV to see them, to welcome them into your home.
Continue reading ‘Once an Eagle’ (1976): NBC’s second ‘Best Sellers’ mini a sprawling epic across two world wars
‘Captains and the Kings’ (1976): Kennedyesque mini was the the first of NBC’s ‘Best Sellers’ series
Hot creepers are they really trying to foist another Kennedy on us for the White House? As a VP replacement for Madame Word Salad? That family of bootlegging, pill-popping, ballot box-stuffing, movie star- shagging poon-hounds? Incrapitable!
Continue reading ‘Captains and the Kings’ (1976): Kennedyesque mini was the the first of NBC’s ‘Best Sellers’ series
‘Sweet Hostage’ (1975): Martin Sheen kidnaps Linda Blair in TV exploiter
A must-have primer for every would-be romantic kidnapper out there…although the only way Sweet Hostage would be remade today is if Bradley Cooper kidnapped Dylan Mulvaney.
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‘Greatest Heroes of the Bible (Vol. 2) – God’s Chosen Ones’: More good lovin’ from the Good Book
Oy gevalt what’s with this meshugganah Easter season? The last time I put something out specifically for Easter (the Shick Sunn Classic TV epic Greatest Heroes of the Bible: Volume One review), we were in the middle of a deliberately manufactured global lockdown that was designed by our elitist overlords as a dry run for who-knows what’s to come…and God didn’t do anything about it (or them). To say I was in a snit with His rather, shall we say, casual attitude about the whole thing is an understatement, and it convinced me not write any more about Him or his people.
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‘Magnum, P.I.’ (Season 1): Beaches, beauties, & the private eye of the ’80s
Funny the things a grown man will do for a living.
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‘Dead by Sunset’ (1995): Juicy melodrama is exactly what true-crime lovers want
I don’t even know what’s up anymore with Lifetime or Lifetime Movie Network; I haven’t watched since we ditched cable years and years ago (I think they just make Christmas movies now where everyone’s best friend is some screaming Billy Eichner queen). But back in the day, those channels, particularly LMN, were a treasure trove of lurid, pulpy, old-school true-crime mellers, and Dead by Sunset―featuring one of the genre’s “Psycho Hall of Fame” performances from Ken Olin―was one of the best.
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‘The U.F.O. Incident’ (1975): Fact, fiction, or Hollywood entertainment?
Can’t some bug-eyed outer space piece of sh*t abduct me the hell out of what passes for America today? Oh, well…one can dream.
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‘Breaking Up is Hard to Do’ (1979): Forgotten TV movie is a true gem
Worthwhile, even remarkable-at-times, made-for-TV drama; perfect viewing for post-football withdrawal…if you’re a real man.
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‘Christmas on the Coast’ (2018): Love, romance and going home
They say you can never go back home. But sometimes, it’s just what the doctor ordered to find yourself again.
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‘Christmas in the Smokies’ (2015): Saving the family farm has never been so romantic
It’s a story as old as the hills where it’s set, and that’s A-OK when you want some down home, feel-good holiday viewing.
Continue reading ‘Christmas in the Smokies’ (2015): Saving the family farm has never been so romantic
‘Rich Man, Poor Man: Book II’ (1976): Rushed sequel series still entertains
A true television “event,” back when a show could catch fire with the huge, largely unified network TV audience and actually depress attendance at restaurants and movie theaters on broadcast nights (while stressing city sewer systems during commercial breaks), Rich Man, Poor Man, starring Peter Strauss, Nick Nolte, Susan Blakely, and a host of familiar TV and movie star names, broke Nielsen records for the newly-minted “miniseries” genre.
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‘Someone I Touched’ (1975): What’s going on down there? TV movie answers
…a.k.a.: First, You Drip.
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‘Rich Man, Poor Man’ (1976): Racy event television from a lost era
Well…now that the seven angels have blasted their horns, rumbling them into a wild, dark winter, inventing entirely new, terrible beasts while we line up with our seven bowls to meekly beseech, “Please, sir, I’d like some more,” (Lionel Bart’s smash West End musical Oliver!, with book by John the Elder and Heinrich Heine), there doesn’t seem to be much more to do while we await our re-education camp assignments than to watch some vintage television, right?
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‘Highway to Heaven’ (Season 1): A powerful, spiritual drama for the 80s
“Who’s your boss?”
“God.”
‘Falcon Crest’ (Season 2): Melodrama & glamour ramp up in 2nd season
“Falcon Crest is a cancer; it contaminates everybody it touches! Get away, if you can!”
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‘Mayflower: The Pilgrims’ Adventure’ (1979): Celebrating the 400th anniversary of Mayflower’s landing
Attention! Attention fellow American lockdown inmates!
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Drunk TV 