Back when “the Big Three” were the only game in town, do you remember how exciting Septembers were, you vintage TV-crazed viewer? Sure you do. How exciting the prospect was for the upcoming slew of new TV shows, thoughtfully brought to you by your friendly networks, entirely free of charge? It was as if you had this whole new group of friends who were waiting to entertain you, and all you had to do was turn on the TV to see them, to welcome them into your home.
Continue reading ‘Once an Eagle’ (1976): NBC’s second ‘Best Sellers’ mini a sprawling epic across two world warsTag Archives: Paul Mavis
‘Dennis the Menace’ (Season 3): With Mr. Wilson’s sudden exit, who will replace him?
“We sure are going to miss good ol’ Mr. Wilson.”
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‘Captains and the Kings’ (1976): Kennedyesque mini was the first of NBC’s ‘Best Sellers’ series
Hot creepers are they really trying to foist another Kennedy on us for the White House? As a VP replacement for Madame Word Salad? That family of bootlegging, pill-popping, ballot box-stuffing, movie star- shagging poon-hounds? Incrapitable!
Continue reading ‘Captains and the Kings’ (1976): Kennedyesque mini was the first of NBC’s ‘Best Sellers’ series
‘Mister Ed’ (Season 3): Classic sitcom is still funny, but its rigid structure begins to show
Wilbur: “Read one of your comic books.”
Mr. Ed: “They depress me.”
‘Sweet Hostage’ (1975): Martin Sheen kidnaps Linda Blair in TV exploiter
A must-have primer for every would-be romantic kidnapper out there…although the only way Sweet Hostage would be remade today is if Bradley Cooper kidnapped Dylan Mulvaney.
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‘Oppenheimer’: Miniseries attempts even-handed take on ‘father of atomic bomb’ story
Hey. We’re not stupid, you know. We watch serious things, too, here at Drunk TV. It’s not all cowboys and cavemen and jiggle TV. We got education. So apparently big time director Christopher “I’m Beyond Criticism Because My Movies are Long and Look Important” Nolan is ready to release a long, important-looking movie about J. Robert Oppenheimer, the “father” of the atomic bomb. Now, the staff here at Drunk TV never pass up an opportunity to ride a gravy train, so we thought we’d undercut ‘ol Nolan boy and release a review of a rival project. Not one for that laughable 1989 Roland Joffe Oppenheimer “epic” that starred Paul Newman’s trim little mustache, that creepy Noh mask guy, and Howling Mad Murdock. No, the old PBS miniseries, from 1980.
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‘Gunsmoke’ (Season 2): Keeping anarchy in the West at bay while gunning down network competition
‘Korg: 70,000 B.C.’: Live action Hanna-Barbera adventure is all about the hunt!
‘Greatest Heroes of the Bible (Vol. 2) – God’s Chosen Ones’: More good lovin’ from the Good Book
Oy gevalt what’s with this meshugganah Easter season? The last time I put something out specifically for Easter (the Shick Sunn Classic TV epic Greatest Heroes of the Bible: Volume One review), we were in the middle of a deliberately manufactured global lockdown that was designed by our elitist overlords as a dry run for who-knows what’s to come…and God didn’t do anything about it (or them). To say I was in a snit with His rather, shall we say, casual attitude about the whole thing is an understatement, and it convinced me not write any more about Him or his people.
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‘Dead by Sunset’ (1995): Juicy melodrama is exactly what true-crime lovers want
I don’t even know what’s up anymore with Lifetime or Lifetime Movie Network; I haven’t watched since we ditched cable years and years ago (I think they just make Christmas movies now where everyone’s best friend is some screaming Billy Eichner queen). But back in the day, those channels, particularly LMN, were a treasure trove of lurid, pulpy, old-school true-crime mellers, and Dead by Sunset―featuring one of the genre’s “Psycho Hall of Fame” performances from Ken Olin―was one of the best.
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Classic Educational Shorts (Volume 5: Rules for School): Pencils down, class, we’re watching a film.
I lived this stuff…and I believed all of it.
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‘The Steve Coogan Collection’: The best from comedian that brought us Alan Partridge!
Was this past Christmas season a bust for you? I suppose after the blizzard, if you had electricity you were way ahead of a lot of people, and being able to afford a can of knock-off Spam in today’s economy put you that much higher up (our Christmas feast consisted of a Quicken loan denial letter and some bouillon cubes). At least we could sit down for some serious holiday TV and movie viewing.
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‘Happy Holidays with Bing and Frank’ (1957): A drunken Christmas from The Frank Sinatra Show, pally!
Merry Christmas, everyone! We had such a nice reaction to our review of the Perry Como Christmas Special co-starring The Carpenters (in short: when I showed it to a bum on the bus, he threw up on my shoes and then tried to shank me), we decided here at the Drunk TV HQ to trim the tree, so to speak, with another holiday TV special review. This time, we’re going to dig out the classic December 20th, 1957 Christmas episode of ABC’s disastrous The Frank Sinatra Show, featuring special guest star, the old Groaner himself, Der Bingle! Entitled Happy Holidays with Bing and Frank, The Chairman of the Board and Bingo from Bingville trade quips and carols while getting thoroughly soused. It’s a Christmas must for fans of vintage Yuletide television specials.
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‘Perry Como’s Christmas Show’ (1974): The Carpenters join Como for a look back on a world long gone
Despite my wife’s adamant aversion to Karen and Richard, for me it just doesn’t seem like Christmas without the mellifluous strains of The Carpenters warbling out some beloved carol (Donna’s a Quaker, but “smash them in their stupid smiling faces” seems to be her default comment whenever they come on the radio). So why not ditch the stress and strain of today’s world and cool out with not one but two mellow masters of easy listening: The Carpenters and Perry Como?
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‘The U.F.O. Incident’ (1975): Fact, fiction, or Hollywood entertainment?
Can’t some bug-eyed outer space piece of sh*t abduct me the hell out of what passes for America today? Oh, well…one can dream.
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‘Frankenstein: The True Story’ (1973): Miniseries brings Mary Shelley’s classic monster to life
It’s Shock-tober, everyone! That’s right—time to take out a second mortgage to pay for your groceries this week. So, let’s lighten our loads by doing what I’ve been since I was in a playpen: escaping reality by obsessively watching TV. And what better way to block out the possibility of six more years of the Didy-in-Chief, than to watch one terrifying horror movie after another until one’s senses are completely numb.
Continue reading ‘Frankenstein: The True Story’ (1973): Miniseries brings Mary Shelley’s classic monster to life
‘The Roller Derby Chronicles’: 2 documentaries & tons of vintage game footage!
You know what sports I played as a kid? My TV, that’s what. And my favorite of all time was catching Big Time Wrestling coming out WXYZ, Detroit’s Channel 7. When Bobo Brazil, after breaking free of The Sheik’s camel-clutch hold, would give his skull-crushing “Coco Butt” to lay the Sheik out, well…why the hell would I want to go outside and toss around a ball and maybe miss that?
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‘The California Kid’ (1974): A spare, surprisingly grim little suspenser
A clean, trim, hard-boiled little gem of a suspenser, from the golden days of network made-for-TV movies.
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‘Satan’s Triangle’ (1975): Decades later, occult thriller is still a winner
You know what would be the perfect vacation for this particular Fourth of July, Independence Day? In today’s America, I mean? Cruise to the Devil’s Triangle. But you say you just can’t let Beelzebub see your bikini bod this year? Well…you could check out Satan’s Triangle, the 1975 made-for-TV occult classic starring Kim Novak and Doug McClure, that originally appeared on the beloved anthology series, ABC Tuesday Movie of the Week (there’s a nice print streaming on Prime right now).
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‘Gilligan’s Planet’: Early ’80s Filmation offering continues the fun
So the Oscars were last weekend, apparently, which I haven’t watched since forever (how can you take an organization seriously that doesn’t award Best Pic to Rex Harrison’s Doctor Dolittle?). Just my luck I miss the organization’s first live televised felony battery. Any hoo, since I wasn’t tied down to watching 3+ hours of a bunch of millionaire hypocrites telling me how much they wish I’d die off, I rooted around for something equally cartoonish.
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