Now that I’m ambulatory enough to ride one of those motorized carts at the store (you can bet your ass I run into people and their carts on purpose―they never say shit to the “handicapped”), I noticed the other day that Walmart has school supplies loaded up and ready to go for all the little bastards heading back to s-cruel. And for the first time in over 30 years, I don’t have to buy any of it.
Continue reading Classic Educational Shorts (Volume 6: Troubled Teens): Back to school with Drunk TVTag Archives: 1980s
All-Time Time-Wastin’ Champ: I’ve finished NBC’s soap, ‘The Doctors’!
After years and years of false starts, I’ve finally achieved another worthless TV-watching milestone: I’ve made it through The Doctors, the NBC daytime serial that ran for 20 years, and won the first Emmy for Best Show Daytime (1972).
Continue reading All-Time Time-Wastin’ Champ: I’ve finished NBC’s soap, ‘The Doctors’!
‘NBC’s 60th Anniversary Celebration’: As the Peacock turns 100, here’s how it celebrated in 1986!
So apparently, not many of my 13 readers here at Drunk TV know that I have a separate blog—Mavis Movie Madness!…but mostly TV—most probably because absolutely no one reads it. Well, my intrepid editor thought it would be a good idea to cross-reference them, so here’s a piece I wrote about the NBC’s 60th Anniversary Celebration, that aired May 12th, 1986. Enjoy, you booze hounds!
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‘Simon & Simon’ (Season 2): How did this P.I. series become a surprise hit? By simply entertaining us
Remember my last Odd Couple review, where I said I wanted to tie up some loose ends? Well…I found another series that needs completing, so before I stage my own phony death and disappear with my old lady and the insurance pay-off in the spirit of our glorious President getting another chance to wrap things up, we’re going to look at the second season of Simon & Simon.
‘The Executioner’s Song’ (1982): ‘Director’s Cut’ trims down ‘true life’ crime miniseries
I made the mistake of going to the movies this week. A new movie. In an actual theater. That I had to pay for. Without thinking, I bought a ticket for Terrifier 3, for no other reason than I wanted to see if I could recreate the feeling I used to have back in the 80s—the golden age of slasher movies—where you just walked into some horror gore fest you didn’t know a thing about, and had a rowdy good time at the movies.
Continue reading ‘The Executioner’s Song’ (1982): ‘Director’s Cut’ trims down ‘true life’ crime miniseries
‘Poor Little Rich Girl: The Barbara Hutton Story’ (1987): Farrah portrays tragic socialite in opulent, soapy miniseries
No one revels in TV excess like myself…but this is just too, too much.
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‘The Triumph and Tragedy of World Class Championship Wrestling’ (2007): The unscripted side of pro wrestling
I’ve been out of the loop on professional wrestling for what seems like forever now. I don’t know the major players; I don’t know the companies, and from the few drop-ins I’ve done over the years, you can basically have it. But I have the fondest memories, as a very small boy, of the syndicated Big Time Wrestling show, out of the National Wrestling Alliance‘s Detroit territory, which could always be counted on to keep an hour of boredom at bay on a rainy Saturday afternoon (“And Pampero Firpo coco-butts The Sheik! He’s killed him! He’s killed him! No, no wait! He’s getting up!”). And the early days of Vince McMahon’s WWF, when I was a teenager, were some of the best “TV theatre” around, with the hypnotic, hysterically funny “Rowdy” Roddy Piper a true artist at his craft.
Continue reading ‘The Triumph and Tragedy of World Class Championship Wrestling’ (2007): The unscripted side of pro wrestling
‘John Steinbeck’s East of Eden’ (1981): Epic miniseries is Jane Seymour’s finest hour
“I’ve done things that would turn your blood to spit.” Cathy Ames
I know, I know. Months ago, I promised to review all of the miniseries that were featured on NBC’s “miniseries series,” Best Sellers. And I did. I even bought a bootleg DVD of the one that’s impossible to find—that’s how committed I was to the project. I only had The Rhinemann Exchange to go. Well…I’ve watched it. I have the notes. But I’m telling you: it’s so goddamn boring I’m not sure I can face writing a review of it. We’ll see. I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s look at a different mini. Come on—give me a break, okay?
Continue reading ‘John Steinbeck’s East of Eden’ (1981): Epic miniseries is Jane Seymour’s finest hour
‘Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom’: Thrilling & educational, Marlon Perkins paves way for ecology & conservation
Hey―we care about the planet here at the DrunkTV HQ. But we don’t wear diapers and tampons about it, that’s all. We don’t want to get taxed for it, or eat ground-up bugs so cows won’t fart, or drive an electric lawn mower instead of a kick-ass V-8. We like the Earth…we’re just not pussies about it. That’s why we like ultimate outdoor chad Marlin Perkins and his Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom series.
Continue reading ‘Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom’: Thrilling & educational, Marlon Perkins paves way for ecology & conservation
‘The Oklahoma City Dolls’ (1981): Skip the Super Bowl. Watch THIS instead!
Okay, now look: if you’re stupid enough to actually watch the Super Bowl this year believing that the fix isn’t in, now that the globalist Uni-Party has paid the curiously asexual PSYOP/singer to “hook up” (rrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiight) with the bone-headed “clot shot” shill, all in service of the eventual President Bumbles endorsement, well…I don’t know what I can tell you. You’re probably beyond reach.
Continue reading ‘The Oklahoma City Dolls’ (1981): Skip the Super Bowl. Watch THIS instead!
‘Oppenheimer’: Miniseries attempts even-handed take on ‘father of atomic bomb’ story
Hey. We’re not stupid, you know. We watch serious things, too, here at Drunk TV. It’s not all cowboys and cavemen and jiggle TV. We got education. So apparently big time director Christopher “I’m Beyond Criticism Because My Movies are Long and Look Important” Nolan is ready to release a long, important-looking movie about J. Robert Oppenheimer, the “father” of the atomic bomb. Now, the staff here at Drunk TV never pass up an opportunity to ride a gravy train, so we thought we’d undercut ‘ol Nolan boy and release a review of a rival project. Not one for that laughable 1989 Roland Joffe Oppenheimer “epic” that starred Paul Newman’s trim little mustache, that creepy Noh mask guy, and Howling Mad Murdock. No, the old PBS miniseries, from 1980.
Continue reading ‘Oppenheimer’: Miniseries attempts even-handed take on ‘father of atomic bomb’ story
‘Magnum, P.I.’ (Season 1): Beaches, beauties, & the private eye of the ’80s
Funny the things a grown man will do for a living.
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Classic Educational Shorts (Volume 5: Rules for School): Pencils down, class, we’re watching a film.
I lived this stuff…and I believed all of it.
Continue reading Classic Educational Shorts (Volume 5: Rules for School): Pencils down, class, we’re watching a film.
‘Gilligan’s Planet’: Early ’80s Filmation offering continues the fun
So the Oscars were last weekend, apparently, which I haven’t watched since forever (how can you take an organization seriously that doesn’t award Best Pic to Rex Harrison’s Doctor Dolittle?). Just my luck I miss the organization’s first live televised felony battery. Any hoo, since I wasn’t tied down to watching 3+ hours of a bunch of millionaire hypocrites telling me how much they wish I’d die off, I rooted around for something equally cartoonish.
Continue reading ‘Gilligan’s Planet’: Early ’80s Filmation offering continues the fun
‘Yogi’s First Christmas’ (1980): A smarter-than-the-average holiday special
Last week, in a rather desperate bid to fend off my irate editor (his is a simple process: no review from me…no booze for me), I fobbed off a quick look at 1982’s Hanna-Barbera animated holiday TV special, Yogi Bear’s All Star Comedy Christmas Caper. Well, imagine our collective shock when 100s and 100s of readers clicked on it. A veritable bonanza of eyeballs! So…in an unashamedly naked, crass attempt to repeat that fluke, we’re offering up even more Jellystone Christmas cheer, this time with 1980’s syndicated romp, Yogi’s First Christmas!
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‘Yogi Bear’s All-Star Comedy Christmas Caper’ (1982): A sweet & quick last glimpse of that old H-B look
Do they still have animated Christmas TV specials show up in first-run syndication?
Continue reading ‘Yogi Bear’s All-Star Comedy Christmas Caper’ (1982): A sweet & quick last glimpse of that old H-B look
‘A Day for Thanks on Walton’s Mountain’ (1982) & ‘A Walton Thanksgiving Reunion’ (1993): A TV reunion double feature
Thanksgiving, right? I mean…it’s a tough one this year, no doubt. Outside of family and friends and the traditional bird and old timey TV, it feels like there’s not a whole lot else to be thankful for, you know? I mean, you’ll be lucky if family can even visit, what with gas prices the way they are (as well as that one lunatic who refuses to visit because most family members don’t believe in the clot-shot). And that big dinner—if you can find the ingredients on those mostly empty shelves—costs way more this year, thanks to you know who (when given the time-honored chance to offer Presidential clemency to the White House Thanksgiving turkey, he promptly pardoned the Easter Bunny). Hell, even nostalgic TV might not help; I know I had a tough time getting into the holiday mood, after watching 1982’s mostly-okay A Day for Thanks on Walton’s Mountain and 1993’s decidedly icky A Walton Thanksgiving Reunion.
Continue reading ‘A Day for Thanks on Walton’s Mountain’ (1982) & ‘A Walton Thanksgiving Reunion’ (1993): A TV reunion double feature
‘Billionaire Boys Club’ (1987): True crime miniseries is a forgotten gem
Creepy, chilling true-crime miniseries.
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‘Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels’: Is this Charlie’s Angels: The Animated Series?
Yes, you didn’t read that clickbait headline incorrectly: we have MORE Charlie’s Angels review action coming your way! Yes! The original show! Another season! The sixth! Well, not the sixth exactly, but still the original! Well…maybe not the original show, but pretty close! Pretty close! Almost the same thing! I mean, well….
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‘Portland Wrestling Series Vol. 1’: A look at the Pacific NW territory in the 80s
Hey old timers, remember pro wrestling’s territory days? Back when wrestling was fun? Here’s a nice reminder.
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